Today's featured article
Canadians, or Canadianus Beerbellius, are the descendants of castaways of two pasty European nations, England and France.
Back in the day, England and France each had one problem: French people and English people, respectively. While their first solution to the problem (varying degrees of war with each other, themselves, and other countries) had successfully led to the death and mangling of untold thousands over the centuries, neither country had yet managed to annihilate the other.
A new solution had to be found. Great minds in both countries sat and pondered, eventually coming up with the brilliant ideas of more war and bigger war. These were tested on a small scale but proved unsatisfying, unsuccessful and unsomethingelse.
War, unfortunately, had two crippling disadvantages; dead people from war, and protests from the people who would end up as dead people in the next war.
A new new solution had to be found. Preferably one that involved some place far away...and what place was farther away than Canada? (more...)
Yesterday's featured article |
Did you know...
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- ...that I left my keys on your mom's nightstand?
- ...that anyone who dies at Disneyland receives a free lifetime pass?
- ...that starting up your computer in MS-DOS mode and entering 'del *.*' makes your computer run infinitely faster?
- ...that if your parents do not have any children, there is a 100% chance that you won't have any either?
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In the news
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- NASA declares war on tool belt; Hexagon mission against it fails, due to Obama image.
- Medvedev discovered to be possible marionette.
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On this day...
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December 1: Sherlock Holmes Day
- 1531 - First slave ship carrying White people crashed off the coast of Mali.
- 1887 - Sherlock Holmes appears for the first time in a dazzling sheer white silk tafetta evening gown, creating an instant sensation throughout the Victorian world.
- 1889 - Holmes appears again, this time in a pink lace teddy, during a "pre-release" trade-show demonstration of the latest features of Windows Vista.
- 1891 - Holmes is killed by Professor Moriarty.
- 1892 - IN soviet Russia Popular demands YOU
- 1894 - Holmes is back by popular demand.
- 1897 - Holmes disappears over Switzerland's Reichenbach Falls, only to reappear three years later on the northern shoals of Lake Lugano as a giant squid.
- 1935 - First known accusation of pedophilia made against Woody Allen when he is caught staring at hot Asian infant in next crib.
- 1981 - Britney Spears is conceived. JUST LEAVE HER ALONE!!!!
- 1988 - Geddy Lee ate breakfast.
- 1993 - Sonic the Hedgehog is run over by Jimi Hendrix on a floating motorcycle of jealousy
- 1995 - School of the year survey results stolen. Sherlock Holmes investigates. His response:"Elementary, my dear Watson."
- 2000 - United States of America replaced with exact replica. No one notices, except for rest of world.
- 2001 - The Sherlock Holmes cartoon sweeps the nation of United Kingdom, hundreds die when bad dubbing and flashing-far-from-this-future lights caused people to bleed from their ears.
- 2006 - Satan returns to earth.
- 2006 - 09:30 Satan gets mugged in Compton.
- 2006 - 10:00 Satan goes back to hell, deciding it's safer.
- 2007 - India becomes the superpower.
- 2020 - Super Mario dies while trying to slide down a pipe.
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| Colonization of the Week
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Wal★Mart
Help us clear the ivy of crap,
and plant the seeds of humour.
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Writer and Noob of the Month
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The UnIdiot. One writer. One name. Two words. In the name, I mean. Last month UnIdiot...I mean, The UnIdiot wrote a bunch of things, including his (or her. I'm not here to judge) Userpage, for which he got an award of some kind.
I'm not very good at this giving praise thing. He'd probably be really good at it, though. *Sigh*
Maybe we should give him an award for that, as well. He could put it on his mantle, which is like a shelf but not as good, beside the Writer of the Month trophy. Then he would, no doubt, put on a Hawaiian shirt and race his Ferrari around, like Magnum, P.I.
That would be awesome.
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Nachlader. Born 08:41, 14 October 2007, 4lbs 411oz. With big, blue eyes and a tuft of bright red hair, and potty-mouthed Pee Reviews that'll surprise and shock the neighbours, you'll fall in love with this little user the moment you sets eyes on him. Oh, won't you adopt this user?
Free O.B.O. Phone 555-9681 after 5pm.
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